ADD- First of all, yes, I'm still talking about this. Second, it is very important to me and the more I learn the more important it becomes for me to educate the world.

Here is what several studies concluded back in 2010 and have confirmed over and over again. ADD is a gene expression. What does that mean? Well, another example of a gene expression is cancer. Basically, when the body either turns a gene on that allows our cancers cells to reproduce or a gene that suppresses cancer cells stops working, a person gets the cancer diagnosis. This is a very generic explanation, but you get the point.

ADD is similar as it is an inherited neurological condition in which genes express themselves and are characterized by impulsivity, difficulty with attention, and, in some cases, hyperactivity.

It can look like hypothyroidism, heavy metal toxicity, high or low testosterone, anxiety disorders, OCD, an oppositional behavior disorder, or a learning disability. It could also be combined with any of these.

Once you eliminate the list above you will need to see an ADD professional who will put you through the 4 to 6 hours of evaluations necessary to determine a treatment plan.

If you find a doctor who does not recognize this condition or understand it, get up and walk out of the building immediately because he will only do you harm. For a doctor to not understand ADD today, would be similar to a doctor giving you a vitamin for cancer. It can not be treated by diet. I happen to know this personally as well. there is some evidence that some genes can be turned on or off over several years with the right diet and vitamins, but you wouldn't take that chance with cancer so why allow your ADD to go untreated. See a professional. I have a list and you are welcome to message me if you are looking for help. Unfortunately, some of the best professionals in this field are not covered under insurance, but are well worth the money. For now, read "Driven to Distraction," so you can better understand this condition. I find this book to be an excellent starting point for anyone who has ever felt they are underachieving in life, but can't put a finger on it.

ADD

Confession/Explanation/Education Time:  I get asked "Why do you do so much?" or "...stay so busy?," fairly often.  Essentially you are asking, "Why do you own several businesses?" To most people it seems a little crazy, but for me the answer is simple.  I thrive in chaos.  I'm ADD and since so few people understand what this REALLY means, let me enlighten you.  If you meet someone who is extremely successful in high stress/high pressure situations (Paramedic/Pilots/Actors (actually a massive percentage of people in hollywood are ADD- something like 30 to 40%) /Fireman/Military/Athletes/Salesmen/Entrepreneurs/Musicians, Etc.), but are slow at finishing paperwork, talk too much, are distracted easily, and have occasional or severe impulse control, then you have likely met someone with a form of ADD/ADHD.  We thrive in chaos, but we fall to pieces in calm (think quiet office environments).  Many successful actors, comedians, artists, salesman, and entrepreneurs are ADD.  Ultra creative and impulsive, but that also means many criminals and addicts are also undiagnosed ADD sufferers.  And now that you know people with ADD are prone to addictions, you know why I don't drink or use drugs.  I think people assumed this had to do with my faith, but I didn't drink or take drugs before I became a Christian so, nope, my faith is not the reason.

We also tend to hyper focus on tasks, which is great when it is on the right task, but bad when it isn't and it isn't far more often then it is.  For example, this explanation of ADD is a form of hyper focus on the wrong thing.  I was planning to investigate something for a client, was distracted by an article, and I ended up here.  The ADD/ADHD brain can be compared to driving a Koenigsegg Agera R (273mph-Fastest car in the world) with NO brakes. (Note: It took me 10 minutes to read about the fastest cars in the world for this post because, again, I got distracted)  Our brains race without ever stopping. NEVER STOPPING. RELENTLESS.  EVEN IN OUR SLEEP WE PHYSICALLY MOVE.  It can be very painful (emotionally and physically) at times and we'll drive off a cliff over and over again because we don't have brakes (weak impulse control and little fear of taking risks).  But our willingness to take chances is also that thing that makes a person extremely successful.  I have no problem with failure and while most people are wisely afraid to leave their careers, I could (I'm not going to) quit everything tomorrow and start up another business without that fear of failure that keeps others stuck in their careers.  To be fair, a large part of that confidence has to do with the fact that I have successfully started up 4 businesses.  All of them are still running today, so I've learned how to budget, market, and develop the right connections to make them last (a skill you develop in middle and high school when you forget to do your homework because you were distracted with sports, girls, and being unmedicated ADD).  I would not have taken those chances if I was "normal."  Hopefully this will also clear up why I left P&G.  Please stop asking me why I left.  It was a mini personal hell for me.  

Here are some myths that need to be cleared up about ADD:

If your child has it, he/she will never "grow out of it."  If they "grew out of it," they never had it.

It is genetic.  Several genes have been identified and most have to do with a dopamine deficiency and this is a world wide phenomena.  This is not restricted to the US and, despite what you read, France's claims that the French population is less than 2% ADD is unscientific garbage.

It does affect your child's self image.  A positive self image is the number 1 predictor of a child's future success.  Not intellect or personality.  If your child is struggling in school and you want to combat this, find ways to help your child feel successful in other areas of life.  It is vital for a child (or adult) to feel that they are capable of being successful and to have a positive self image.  Especially if you want to create the next Richard Branson (Virgin CEO) or John Chamber (Cisco System CEO) or David Neeleman (Founder and CEO of Jet Blue) (All 3 are ADD).

You are not a bad parent.  You need to understand that your child is NOT capable of controlling their energy and they do not want to act out or, in my case, be "absent minded."  That energy can be focused, but don't stick that kid in a pew at church and expect them to sit still and listen.

Roughly 5% to 7% of the entire world has this genetic trait.  Many are undiagnosed world wide and another 3% to 5% are likely falsely diagnosed.

A child or adult can have it and not be hyperactive.  This type is called the inattentive (daydreamer) type. (me)

People with ADD sometimes self medicate.  I was a 4 sport athlete obsessed with tea (caffeine) so I was medicating like crazy back in the day and I have learned other methods to cope since, but I was never above Ritalin or Adderall.  For the record, Adderall, in my opinion, makes people crazy and I consider it to be very dangerous for long term use.  Ritalin is safe for the most part though.  I have not taken either for years, and the 80 pounds I gained while self medicating with food in order to study while in college is proof.  I have since lost 65 pounds of it, but I had to start living a diabetic lifestyle to get here.

Everyday is a struggle for a person living with this.  Relationships, careers, and health will especially suffer if a person goes undiagnosed and untreated for years.  If you know people who have a long history with patterns of suffering and shortcomings that they just don't understand, then tell them to investigate this with a qualified doctor.  It will change their life.  They will realize that they are not only capable and intelligent, but have the mental strength to take risks that have historically changed the world for the better.

One more thing.  We hate time.  We do not live by it well and we do not value it.  We are not trying to be selfish, we just do not care to live restricted by it.  This is a very, very common trait for an ADD individual.  This part of us can not be changed.  Sorry if you live with someone like this.  I know it can be tough.  Love you Emily!  :)

Self Worth

If a person, who typically seems calm and collected, becomes emotional and reacts in a defensive, angry manner when you give the person any form of criticism, even if it is just perceived criticism, you have likely challenged an area of that person's self worth.

Example: A person who has dedicated their life to the study of piano for 20 years, but messes up an important piece in front of professors at Juilliard may take it very personal after reflecting or being told by the judges that he/she failed.

Example 2:  A man married with 3 kids who gets fired comes home and yells at his wife when she politely asks if they can afford to buy milk.

When our self worth is placed in what we are capable of doing or how well we provide, 1of 3 reactions typically follow.

1.  Anxiety - "Am I really any good at playing piano?  If not, what do I have left?"

2.  Guilt - "If I can't provide for my family I am not worth anything to anyone. I'm useless."

3.  Resentment - "How dare you say Anything other than I'm a great pianist." "How dare you question if I can keep food and milk in our refrigerator."

Our self-worth is so fragile.  If we continue to get our worth from wrong belief systems of what we have to offer we get trapped in a roller coaster of emotions and we are tossed around like waves by always seeking the approval of others.  So I will ask the question that relates to my scientific mind.  Everything in nature has a constant, so why should we question if there is a source in life in which we should draw our worth from that remains constant? One that remains perfect even if our minds are unable to do so?

I can believe gasoline will not make my car run, but that doesn't make it less true.  Gasoline is a constant that will remain the main source of fuel for my car until the car is destroyed and my beliefs have no say in it.

What I believe isn't going to correct 100% of the time or, in my case, even 50% of time, but it seems like constants exist in every aspect of science/life and yet we don't seem to recognize this in our emotional/spiritual lives.  So that leaves me with asking the question again.  Is there a constant in which all people should get their worth?  I think so, but I've beaten a dead horse on where I stand on this so I don't even need to mention what I believe that source to be.

YouTube Videos -- Part 1

The following videos are some of my favorites.  I have watched a few of these several times.

Motivational Laziness

Motivation is an interesting topic.

Motivation is like stress.  We all experience it constantly, but we may not be able to place a clear label on it.

Whether Intrinsic or Extrinsic every person has a reason for the way they live.  We are all motivated by a perceived need.

I plan to share several examples of motivation over the next month, but the first one is one I have personally experienced in my youth so I hold it closer to the heart.

My first example is what I'm calling "Motivated laziness."
Example:  A friend of mine would be considered lazy by our cultural standards.  He has quit or been fired several times for not producing enough and even now, being out of work, he avoids spending time on his resume, reading, exercising, or living in general.  On the surface, people will judge him as not being motivated, but that couldn't be more inaccurate.  His motivation is to not suffer from his perceived deficiencies.  For him, the idea of letting others and himself down is more painful than taking a chance.  The "laziness" is a defense mechanism.  It is a way to guard himself from the pain of being rejected again and allowing those feelings of worthlessness to creep into the forefront of his mind.  In some cases he will even sabotage himself early in a job or relationship out of a fear that he will inevitably be "found out." The source of this fear and pain is not easily identifiable.  My friend is unlikely even aware of why he behaves in this manor.

Like everything in life, we have to begin with being honest with ourselves.  For my friend,  once he recognizes his "laziness" comes from past fear, pains, and insecurities.  Then the work can be started in order for him to change his mind and attitude toward himself and allow those who love him to show their acceptance for who he is right now, then he can grasp that they are all he needs for validation.   This complete acceptance of who we are, the good and bad, is another way of describing unconditional love.  When my friend finally realizes that he can take chances and fail and his worth is not placed in his strengths and weaknesses, he will finally feel secure.  Once he feels secure and loved according to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, he can find purpose which will hopefully lead to self actualization (maturity).

Side note:  It is important that I mention that an insecurity is, by definition, a place in our lives where we don't feel secure and if we want to move forward then we we need to find security in this area.  If you recognize an insecurity in others help them grasp it.  Don't belittle it in them.

I personally believe that the only solid foundation of an unchanging and unfailing source of love is God.  If our compass or baseline for love comes from people we will never feel secure.  People are just not a great and consistent form of love.  I will let my kids down at some point.  I will get tired and yell out of frustration.  I will accidentally say something hurtful.  However, even if I didn't screw up and they saw a great example of love out of me, if I am their foundation and understanding of love then they will still have an incomplete idea of what perfect love looks like in word and action.  Jesus' sacrifice, resurrection, and invitation to enter into a complete love and freedom he alone offers is absolutely foundational, in my opinion, to start the healing process.  After all, he only wants the best for us.  Our present sufferings and the suffering of generations to come are a consequence of us trying to do things on our own and teaching others to do the same.  You may ask why doesn't God just intervene?  The thing is, He did.  However, God also gives us the free will to try life without him.  He did this for Adam and Eve in the garden and in the same way his love is perfect and consistent so is His fairness and justice.

I believe this is a foundational truth to the healing process, but I do not want this to sounds like I am in any way discrediting behavioral therapy.  I believe behavioral psychology is a very useful tool.  I just also believe everything in modern psychology should be filtered through books like Proverbs before assuming they are correct.  The foundational beliefs of contemporary secular psychologists can be dangerous assumptions and none have really been established with any credibility unless they are already aligned with the Torah's Proverbs, Psalms, or other Biblical books.  ("As a man thinks in his heart, so is he." Proverbs 23:7)

If you know people who are "lazy."  Help them out by finding ways of letting them know that they can fail and you won't judge their shortcomings.  These people are smart so don't patronize them, just get them to start thinking about why they are stuck.  This will help them to start moving forward and hopefully, they will allow God to be a part of the healing process.  At some point the person may need to see a pro.  Make sure the professional has a solid foundation with core beliefs that do not contradict the original psychology textbook written thousands of years ago (Torah, NT).  The wrong therapist could do more harm than good.

Sweet Recipes

I come from a line of Diabetics.  Diabetes Mellitus mainly and it seems like we have an intolerance for most processed grains, starches, and sugars.  So I have been reading about the best lifestyle change options to meet my sweet-tooth and I have found several recipes that work well for me.  However, the following recipes deserve special attention.  They are 2 of my current favorites.  Both keep my blood sugar low and have aided in my loss of nearly 30 pounds in 2 months (with minimal exercise).

1. Protein Powder Pancakes

Ingredients:
-  1 scoop or serving of protein powder (Whey Isolate or Vegetable based Powder)  I highly recommend Muscle Milk Powders.
-  3 eggs.

Seriously, that is it.

Mix well in a bowl or with a mixer and heat in your frying pan just below medium for a little over a minute and flip.

Of course you have to like the texture of eggs to enjoy this, but the flavor of the powder is all you taste.  Delicious.  I also use a sugar free syrup, Joseph's with Maltitol.  Maltitol has been known to cause intestinal discomfort in some, so test yourself with a very, very small amount before pouring it all over the pancakes.  If you don't have a problem with it, then you'll be happy because it tastes just like regular maple syrup (since Maltitol is a sugar alcohol) without the insulin and blood sugar spike.

Recipe 2:

I eat this one just about every other night

3 minute chocolate cake

Ingredients:
-  1/2 tsp of vanilla
-  1 tsp of Baking Powder
-  1 Tablespoon of Heavy Whipping Cream
-  1 Tablespoon of Butter (softened)
-  2 Tablespoons of 100% baking Cocoa powder (I use Hershey's Powder)
-  4 Packets of Truvia (Erythritol) (Just over 1 Tablespoon)
-  1 Egg

Mix all the ingredients well in a microwaveable bowl

Heat in the microwave on high for 1 minute or until the center and edges no longer appear wet.  Enjoy it without any extras or serve it with sugar free whipped cream or sugar free cream cheese icing.

Please let me know how they turn out for you or if you add anything to improve the recipes.  Thank you!

Pride

There are areas of my life in which pride, well, thrives in me.  I used to think I was truly humble because I recognized and worked on the same flaws in myself that I noticed in others.  Ironically, this created pride in me.  I was better by comparison in my mind and, let's be honest, that is the definition of pride.  It is comparing oneself to others.

I have identified at least 4 areas of pride that we all deal with in ourselves or in those around us on a daily basis.

1.  The first type of pride is obvious and can be defined as jealousy.  When you hear statements like...

"That jerk got the promotion and all he does is kiss up or sit around all day."
"She isn't as pretty as I am so how did she get him to notice her?"
"He is so dumb.  Why is he happier than me?"
"He thinks he is a big deal because… (of his job) (of his car) (of where he lives)."

2.  The second type of Pride is more dangerous because it is less obvious.  It is subtle and we may even define it as "justice" in our minds.  At least I do.  When this pride is triggered we tend to become angry since we feel that we or others who we care about have been mistreated.  For many years I have felt a burning anger for areas of my life and I would have described this anger as just.  In my mind, I had been in the right and everyone who said any different was a jerk and wrong.  I created a bit of a prison for myself with this punishing anger toward the injustices I and those I care about had experienced.  The problem here is that I was punishing myself by holding onto the anger, while those who had harmed me and my friends seemed to go about life without any change or consequence for their actions.  This can be a hard one to recognize in ourselves even when we become self actualized enough to start noticing other forms of pride.

3.  Another common form of pride in our culture is as identifiable as jealousy and, oddly, it is sometimes even praised as a value.  This is the "I'm going to prove to you that I am the better and/or a more powerful person" type. A guy or girl who steals another person's boyfriend or girlfriend/husband or wife just to prove they were the better guy or girl.  The boss who moves people around like puppets or enjoys watching their employees suffer in fear because they feel pride in having the power.  The musician who thinks they can play it better or athlete who feels they deserve to start because the person in front of them is overrated.   The most obvious place to see this is in watching Alpha Males in athletics, music, the corporate world, and middle class neighborhoods, but it can just as easily take place in a homeless shelter.

4.  The last form of pride is by far the most dangerous of all and can be split into two subcategories.  It is the pride of self.  The first subcategory is the one where we feel complete in our strengths and abilities and refuse to take advice or correction from others.  When we say things like, "I'm not perfect, but I think I'm a pretty good person," we are in danger of this kind of pride.  This looks like humility at times because this pride comes from the position that I don't need to talk about myself.  I don't need to prove anything to anyone.  All the while we are really looking down on everyone around us because we feel we have it all together.  These are the people who I fear will never really learn the truth.  Worse still, this is the pride I sometimes associate with people in the church, atheists, and the non-religious.  The non-religious being those folks who just don't care to ever think about what life is all about.  The second subcategory is still pride in oneself, but it is the one I described in my first paragraph and the one I suffer from the most.  This is the pride in one's ability to recognize the faults in one's self and others and then believing you are somehow better because you are working on your flaws while the others seem content in their ignorance.  This is also a very subtle form of pride and a person has to really want to search themselves to recognize it.

The funny thing about ALL forms of pride is that we are rarely aware of it in ourselves, but complain about it in others.

I am and/or have been guilty of each form of pride I just listed and will likely fall back into them again many more times in the future, but I've learned the only full proof solution to eliminating pride.  The answer is to stop thinking about yourself.  To always put others secondary (I consider shelter, eating, sleeping, and hygiene as a primary interest that you have a right to worry about for yourself) interests above your own and to stop comparing yourself with others.  The answer is humility.

As C.S. Lewis so perfectly stated, humility is "not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less."  I personally do not believe we can do this on our own.  I think we need help from God to be humble and to stop judging ourselves and others.  But don't ask Him for help or expect it if you don't authentically want help.  I've learned from experience that He has no interest in us being double minded.  Claiming we want one thing with our lips while simultaneously doubting we need or really even want the help rarely leads to answered prayers.

One thing I know for certain is that the people I've met who are humble tend to get a great deal more out of life than those around them.  They experience a peace that has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember.   When you meet someone like this you may not even notice much about the person.  You'll just appreciate the interest they take in your life.  Someday I would like to be one.

This will be edited in the future, but I am going to bed now so overlook grammatical errors and run-on sentences. :)