Pride

There are areas of my life in which pride, well, thrives in me.  I used to think I was truly humble because I recognized and worked on the same flaws in myself that I noticed in others.  Ironically, this created pride in me.  I was better by comparison in my mind and, let's be honest, that is the definition of pride.  It is comparing oneself to others.

I have identified at least 4 areas of pride that we all deal with in ourselves or in those around us on a daily basis.

1.  The first type of pride is obvious and can be defined as jealousy.  When you hear statements like...

"That jerk got the promotion and all he does is kiss up or sit around all day."
"She isn't as pretty as I am so how did she get him to notice her?"
"He is so dumb.  Why is he happier than me?"
"He thinks he is a big deal because… (of his job) (of his car) (of where he lives)."

2.  The second type of Pride is more dangerous because it is less obvious.  It is subtle and we may even define it as "justice" in our minds.  At least I do.  When this pride is triggered we tend to become angry since we feel that we or others who we care about have been mistreated.  For many years I have felt a burning anger for areas of my life and I would have described this anger as just.  In my mind, I had been in the right and everyone who said any different was a jerk and wrong.  I created a bit of a prison for myself with this punishing anger toward the injustices I and those I care about had experienced.  The problem here is that I was punishing myself by holding onto the anger, while those who had harmed me and my friends seemed to go about life without any change or consequence for their actions.  This can be a hard one to recognize in ourselves even when we become self actualized enough to start noticing other forms of pride.

3.  Another common form of pride in our culture is as identifiable as jealousy and, oddly, it is sometimes even praised as a value.  This is the "I'm going to prove to you that I am the better and/or a more powerful person" type. A guy or girl who steals another person's boyfriend or girlfriend/husband or wife just to prove they were the better guy or girl.  The boss who moves people around like puppets or enjoys watching their employees suffer in fear because they feel pride in having the power.  The musician who thinks they can play it better or athlete who feels they deserve to start because the person in front of them is overrated.   The most obvious place to see this is in watching Alpha Males in athletics, music, the corporate world, and middle class neighborhoods, but it can just as easily take place in a homeless shelter.

4.  The last form of pride is by far the most dangerous of all and can be split into two subcategories.  It is the pride of self.  The first subcategory is the one where we feel complete in our strengths and abilities and refuse to take advice or correction from others.  When we say things like, "I'm not perfect, but I think I'm a pretty good person," we are in danger of this kind of pride.  This looks like humility at times because this pride comes from the position that I don't need to talk about myself.  I don't need to prove anything to anyone.  All the while we are really looking down on everyone around us because we feel we have it all together.  These are the people who I fear will never really learn the truth.  Worse still, this is the pride I sometimes associate with people in the church, atheists, and the non-religious.  The non-religious being those folks who just don't care to ever think about what life is all about.  The second subcategory is still pride in oneself, but it is the one I described in my first paragraph and the one I suffer from the most.  This is the pride in one's ability to recognize the faults in one's self and others and then believing you are somehow better because you are working on your flaws while the others seem content in their ignorance.  This is also a very subtle form of pride and a person has to really want to search themselves to recognize it.

The funny thing about ALL forms of pride is that we are rarely aware of it in ourselves, but complain about it in others.

I am and/or have been guilty of each form of pride I just listed and will likely fall back into them again many more times in the future, but I've learned the only full proof solution to eliminating pride.  The answer is to stop thinking about yourself.  To always put others secondary (I consider shelter, eating, sleeping, and hygiene as a primary interest that you have a right to worry about for yourself) interests above your own and to stop comparing yourself with others.  The answer is humility.

As C.S. Lewis so perfectly stated, humility is "not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less."  I personally do not believe we can do this on our own.  I think we need help from God to be humble and to stop judging ourselves and others.  But don't ask Him for help or expect it if you don't authentically want help.  I've learned from experience that He has no interest in us being double minded.  Claiming we want one thing with our lips while simultaneously doubting we need or really even want the help rarely leads to answered prayers.

One thing I know for certain is that the people I've met who are humble tend to get a great deal more out of life than those around them.  They experience a peace that has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember.   When you meet someone like this you may not even notice much about the person.  You'll just appreciate the interest they take in your life.  Someday I would like to be one.

This will be edited in the future, but I am going to bed now so overlook grammatical errors and run-on sentences. :)