Motivational Laziness

Motivation is an interesting topic.

Motivation is like stress.  We all experience it constantly, but we may not be able to place a clear label on it.

Whether Intrinsic or Extrinsic every person has a reason for the way they live.  We are all motivated by a perceived need.

I plan to share several examples of motivation over the next month, but the first one is one I have personally experienced in my youth so I hold it closer to the heart.

My first example is what I'm calling "Motivated laziness."
Example:  A friend of mine would be considered lazy by our cultural standards.  He has quit or been fired several times for not producing enough and even now, being out of work, he avoids spending time on his resume, reading, exercising, or living in general.  On the surface, people will judge him as not being motivated, but that couldn't be more inaccurate.  His motivation is to not suffer from his perceived deficiencies.  For him, the idea of letting others and himself down is more painful than taking a chance.  The "laziness" is a defense mechanism.  It is a way to guard himself from the pain of being rejected again and allowing those feelings of worthlessness to creep into the forefront of his mind.  In some cases he will even sabotage himself early in a job or relationship out of a fear that he will inevitably be "found out." The source of this fear and pain is not easily identifiable.  My friend is unlikely even aware of why he behaves in this manor.

Like everything in life, we have to begin with being honest with ourselves.  For my friend,  once he recognizes his "laziness" comes from past fear, pains, and insecurities.  Then the work can be started in order for him to change his mind and attitude toward himself and allow those who love him to show their acceptance for who he is right now, then he can grasp that they are all he needs for validation.   This complete acceptance of who we are, the good and bad, is another way of describing unconditional love.  When my friend finally realizes that he can take chances and fail and his worth is not placed in his strengths and weaknesses, he will finally feel secure.  Once he feels secure and loved according to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, he can find purpose which will hopefully lead to self actualization (maturity).

Side note:  It is important that I mention that an insecurity is, by definition, a place in our lives where we don't feel secure and if we want to move forward then we we need to find security in this area.  If you recognize an insecurity in others help them grasp it.  Don't belittle it in them.

I personally believe that the only solid foundation of an unchanging and unfailing source of love is God.  If our compass or baseline for love comes from people we will never feel secure.  People are just not a great and consistent form of love.  I will let my kids down at some point.  I will get tired and yell out of frustration.  I will accidentally say something hurtful.  However, even if I didn't screw up and they saw a great example of love out of me, if I am their foundation and understanding of love then they will still have an incomplete idea of what perfect love looks like in word and action.  Jesus' sacrifice, resurrection, and invitation to enter into a complete love and freedom he alone offers is absolutely foundational, in my opinion, to start the healing process.  After all, he only wants the best for us.  Our present sufferings and the suffering of generations to come are a consequence of us trying to do things on our own and teaching others to do the same.  You may ask why doesn't God just intervene?  The thing is, He did.  However, God also gives us the free will to try life without him.  He did this for Adam and Eve in the garden and in the same way his love is perfect and consistent so is His fairness and justice.

I believe this is a foundational truth to the healing process, but I do not want this to sounds like I am in any way discrediting behavioral therapy.  I believe behavioral psychology is a very useful tool.  I just also believe everything in modern psychology should be filtered through books like Proverbs before assuming they are correct.  The foundational beliefs of contemporary secular psychologists can be dangerous assumptions and none have really been established with any credibility unless they are already aligned with the Torah's Proverbs, Psalms, or other Biblical books.  ("As a man thinks in his heart, so is he." Proverbs 23:7)

If you know people who are "lazy."  Help them out by finding ways of letting them know that they can fail and you won't judge their shortcomings.  These people are smart so don't patronize them, just get them to start thinking about why they are stuck.  This will help them to start moving forward and hopefully, they will allow God to be a part of the healing process.  At some point the person may need to see a pro.  Make sure the professional has a solid foundation with core beliefs that do not contradict the original psychology textbook written thousands of years ago (Torah, NT).  The wrong therapist could do more harm than good.